DIARY OF A TWO-YEAR-OLD; HOW I SPENT MY COVID-19 QUARANTINE;

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My name is Donald and I am Two years and Seven months Old. Last month, Mum and dad took me and aunt Bola to Grandpa’s House.

Aunt Bola is my second-best friend next to mom and dad. Mummy says she is a Teenager, I don’t really know what that means, what I do know however is that aunt Bola wears a school uniform every day like I do, while mum and dad wear big people clothes and work on their laptops. So I suspect aunt Bola is smaller than mum and dad but of course bigger than me.

Grandpa and Grandma were so excited to see me as usual, I really do not understand their excitement, because I don’t speak their language and they barely understand me when I speak too.

You see, Communication has been a serious struggle for me in the past two years. There was this one time when I pooped in my diaper and it was very itchy and wet and disgusting and I tried to tell mum, but she just wasn’t getting it! So what did she do? She proceeded to feed me instead, I cried and spat the food out, and then she attempted to rock me, and I just wailed more and then she looked really confused and harassed until Aunt Bola came and checked my diaper and changed it.

Aunt Bola understands me better than anyone, because she spends the most time playing with me. One day, after one of my usual communication dilemmas with mum, I heard Grandma telling her over the phone that when I clock Three! I would be able to speak clearer! I don’t understand these adults, I speak just fine as I am, why don’t they make an effort to understand me at the very least?

Mum and dad snuck out and left me in Grandpa’s house. I was so shocked and disappointed. Why would they do something like that, it’s not like I could not stay without them, after all, I spend most of my time in the day care, and when we all get home in the evening, mum is always cooking in the kitchen and dad is always on his phone doing what I don’t know.

Leaving me in the care of grandma and grandpa without properly explaining to me why I was being left behind is just so disappointing.

The first day was bad and I really cried. What I didn’t realize was that I was going to be stuck in this house for the next five weeks because of coronavirus!

By the second day, I had started enjoying my holiday because my Aunts and Uncles started returning home to spend some time with my grannies. Moreover, Grandpa’s house was a mansion compared to mum and dad dingy tiny two bedroom apartment! So I had plenty space to play.

Uncle O was the first to come. Uncle O is my mum’s younger brother. He is big and dark and wears a long flowing robe around the house. He is not my favorite because, he spends most of his time on his phone and laptop, and he’s got no time for me.

Aunt O is my mum’s younger sister, she lives permanently with my grannies. Grandma explained that she is an essential worker so she has to go to work every day, despite the holiday. I still don’t understand what she meant, holidays are for eating, sleeping and watching cartoons.

Aunt O is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world! She never, ever goes to work and comes back empty-handed. She always brings bags of goodies for me. The evenings are always the highlight of my day because of Aunt O.

And then the next day, Big Mummy came, big mummy is my mum’s elder sister, Grandma said I am not allowed to call her “Aunt” because she is senior to my own mum, hence the name “ Big Mummy”.

Big Mummy is amazingggg! The bestest of the best. She allows me play with the water during bath time, for as long as I want! She cleans my butt when I poop, she plays cocomelon on her phone when I am bored and gives me everything and anything I want. She also video calls mummy and daddy on her phone so I can speak with them, too bad, I really didn’t miss them so much after all.

Nobody, and I mean ab-so-lu-te-ly nobody! not even grandma, can spank me or even raise their voice at me when big mummy is around.

Then there is big uncle. Big uncle is the most senior of my mum’s sibling He is also an essential worker and was barely around! He had his own apartment but would visit occasionally!

I usually wake up at 9.00am. Grandma will make me a breakfast of oath meal and egg before bath time. Then I would join the family for prayers and Bible study. My routine for the rest of the day is pretty standard; I watch ceebeebee’s, play around the compound, poop, eat, poop again and watch cartoons on my tab.

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I ate lots of fruits and vegetables during this holiday. Grandma made me eat them. My evenings usually end with me taking a warm cup of Milo before bath time, after dinner. Milo is ab-so-lute-ly delicious! Next to Ribena, it’s my best drink.

Two remarkable things happened to me during this holiday; The first happened one day, after I had my bath in the morning, Grandma realised that we had run out of diaper, so she asked Aunt O, to get new diapers. Aunt O returned empty-handed, she explained that all the stores were out of stock! Grandma was confused for a while, and then, she said, “Oh, well, I might as well teach you how to use the potty!” And that was it!

It was difficult at first, there were a few accidents, but I later got a hang of it, and it was Ah-Ma-zzzzng! No more itchy, smelly, diaper sticking to my butt! I can’t wait to show off my potty-skills when my daycare resumes! The ladies will be sooooo impressed!.

The second one happened one day after Aunt O returned from work! She came with lots of goodies as usual and then she gave me a snack, not just anyone, a special kind of snack!

The best tasting snack in the wholeeeee wideeeee worldddddd! Nothing like I have ever tasted before. Aunt O, later told me it was caramel pop-corn! did you get that, carrrramelllll popppcornnn, even the name sounds oh-so- delicious.

Although Grandma stopped me from having too much, she says it will ruin my stomach, it was an absolute delight to put it in my mouth!

Popcorn, Potty, and family, quarantine has been sooooo much funnnn! but I can’t wait to get back to school, I really do miss my friends…